Writing-Marking

WALT use the correct structure and language to write an explanation text.But yesterday we had to mark and score the piece of writing below.Below the writing is my scores for the writing and why.

Tautoro school is a special place for my community. It is about 7 kilometers from the main town

of Kaikohe and is surrounded by nature, gardens, paddocks and volcanic rock. The marae just

over the fence, is a special place for the school community where our people gather for many

hui and whanau events. There is a small dairy a few metres along the road.

At Tautoro school all the kids have a sense of belonging through promoting and upholding our

waka hoe values, whakapapa and whakawhanaungatanga. Our whanau from Tautoro and surrounding
areas
like Kaikohe send their kids to our school knowing they will get a well

rounded education. Whanau like the school teaching staff who are very passionate about

supporting whanau and their tamariki in education and self determination.

A great thing about Tautoro school is that there are no distractions like the main streets or a

variety of shops where kids can roam and get in trouble. So our whanau know that their kids

will not have the bad influences that other kids may have in the main town.

All the kids at Tautoro school have a fantastic sports and PE teacher who has a lot of exciting

and enjoyable activities to help us stay fit and learn new skills. So kids don’t have to get bored. 

 As you can see, there are many reasons why our small country school in Tautoro is a very

special place to our community where our connections to whanau and learning are imperative. 

                        Score     Reasons why you have given this mark

Ideas	4	Because the paragraph has several Ideas that some information and one paragraph has a lot of information
Structure Language	5	Because this writing is well structured and also has a range of language features that fit the purpose well
Organisation	4	Because their ideas are organized properly but there is some missing pieces
Vocabulary	5	Because they use a variety of enhancing words and or phrases to give specific information and they choose eye catching words
Sentence Structure	5	They have written a variety of sentences which are grammatically correct. Some sentences are structured for effect to create dynamic.
Punctuation	5	They have used correct sentence punctuation,but they have not used any other punctuation besides( , .)
Spelling	4	They have spelt a few words that are well fitted in the story but they have not used any risk taking words.
Total	29	This has been a very very interesting story to read,but the conclusion was too short and there was no title