This is my writing assessment I have worked on improving its punctuation,spelling and volcabulary

On a friday afternoon my mum and dad came to pick us up to go to Whangarei  when we were going to Whangarei we  were playing I spy. It was fun.

Then we got to Whangarei.

In Whangarei we went to my aunty and uncle's house. And they were not there so we called them to see how long they were going to be after a while they came. My uncle asked if we wanted to go on the boat tomorrow.

My mum said “ok”. On Sunday we went to matapouri it was fun in matapouri we went to the beach at the beach my baby cousin made a sandcastle   but me and my other cousins all had a race in when we jumped in  the water felt as cold as ice.  

After that my uncle asked if we were ready we said “yes” so he took us for a ride it was fun. We could see all of the fish and turtles  and they were as colorful as rainbows “that was epic” I said. Later on we had lunch for lunch we had McDonald I had a waffle cone and the chocolate was slipping down my mouth like a worm after that we had to wait a while I was waiting I had a sand castle building challenge I was awesome. After that we were allowed back in the water so I jumped in and swam to my uncle's boat because he parked it in the water.  I climbed up the ladder and jumped into the water then I did freestyle.

After that  we picked up  K.F.C and went to the park.  The park as fun as rainbows end.

Then It started getting late so we went to my uncle's house and watched tv a little while later my cousins cousins came over and we played spotlight I was hiding by the tree I was laughing because they thought I was in the tree and then they  finally found us so it was my turn to seek  when I  was running to find  my cousin. My eyes where owl eyes looking for him then my cousin jumped out of the parked boat with the other cousins and I got them then they went home  so we had ribs the ribs were as sweet as chocolate then we watched a movie  and went home.

I will never forget when I got a ride in my uncle's boat. The fish and turtles were beautiful.